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It's okay not to be okay.

Happy World Mental Health Day Let’s talk about mental health -  in honor of World Mental Health Day today. This is a super important thing we all need to focus on with ourselves. Being aware of your mental health is definitely something that you should keep up with.  My mental health lately has been shit . Not working and having zero income with bills is really hitting me, hard. I’ve been looking for jobs, I really have. And applying! I just think I can do better. I can do more and apply for more. I'm going to have to settle for something in the meantime. I had a MAJOR breakdown earlier this week. I found myself bawling my eyes out on my bathroom floor. And I mean BAWLING. Like, ugly crying, hyperventilating and completely hysterical. What is wrong with me? What am I doing? This isn’t me, at all. I’ve been in this slump and it just keeps getting worse. I just really need to focus on myself and getting my shit together.   I’ve been forcing myself out of bed and for

The Only Bad Workout is the One That Didn't Happen

I'm going to make you puke today. That is just what I wanted to hear when I walked into the gym today. Good morning to you too! ๐Ÿ˜† Coming from your trainer, that's love - right? Thankfully, I didn't puke today from my workout. ๐Ÿ‘ In all honesty, I don't think I tried quite as hard as I could have today. It was a late night for me. Speaking of, can we just take a minute to appreciate Bark at the Park? I got to take my dog to a Tigers game! 






Charlie goes to Comerica Park everyone!

Alright, where were we? Oh yeah, puking. I think that if I pushed myself harder, I might have made my trainer proud by puking. Yuck, LOL.

Today was quite the struggle though - both at the gym and at work. I somehow managed to make it to both though. I've found that if I wake up in the morning in a shit mood, and I don't feel like getting out of bed, I still have to do it. Go to the gym, work out and get to feeling better! It's so incredibly insane to me that one simple workout (no matter how much you want to cry) can change your mood and make you feel so much better. I have never said or heard anybody else say "I regret that workout I just did". Never. 

I've battled with depression my entire life - I'll get into that another time. I've found that eating healthy and exercising has really made a huge impact on how I feel and even how I act. The healthy eating part is still a struggle with me, although I've come a long way. I'm actually really excited - I set up a meeting with a dietitian for Friday!

I used to use eating as a way to cope, I guess. Stressed? Have some ice cream. Bad day? Taco Bell sounds like a fantastic way to cheer me up. Sad? How about some chips. Oh, I like to lay in bed at night and watch Netflix until I absolutely can't keep my eyes open any longer. I actually just started a new show 'Dead to Me', pretty good! Anyways, what goes great with late night Netflix-ing? Snacks! That is a thought from the old me. The I'm-not-even-hungry-but-there's-cake-in-the-fridge old me. I don't even like to eat late at night anymore. To be honest, I barely even enjoy junk food anymore either. It just makes me sick now. BUT, I did enjoy some delicious pizza and ice cream Sunday to celebrate the end of the challenge. Time to get back on track though - encouragement welcome! :)

It's late, I'm sleepy and I feel like I'm just rambling on now. More to come!

XOXO, M♡



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